Apr 10 | 2023 — X of Cups
The X of Cups: the card of gratitude and appreciation. I know I already heard some people stop and say, “Wait… that’s the family card.” And to that, I say, “You aren’t wrong!” But there is more to this card than just family happiness, but that’s a big part of it.
Traditionally, this card shows a family scene: a couple, arms raised at the beauty of, not just the rainbow above, but their land and homestead, their little kids playing near them. With one arm wrapped around the other person, you can almost hear the one on the left say, “We did this. This is ours.” They’re proud, weepy even; there is definitely an emotionality to this card. It, as I mentioned initially, is based in gratitude and appreciation — not only for the material things they have but for the happiness of family they have achieved. It could even represent spiritual fulfillment: they finally found peace and contentment in the Universe.
And I find it interesting that this card falls on the day after Easter, a day that often sees family coming together (along with a purview of emotions that are as varied as the colors in that rainbow). Yesterday my phone was filled with conversations from friends suffering through “He is Risen!” and “He died for your sins!” text chains from their families; the same families who have harshly excluded (or said very ugly things) to their LGBTQ+ family members. Just like every other major holiday (Thanksgiving and Christmas primarily), family gatherings can be the absolute antithesis of the X of Cups (all because of that nasty Swords energy that swirls around these types of holidays).
But families are not just biological or legally identified unions. They can be hand-picked. They can be community. After all, home IS where the heart is.
Message of the Day: This card is kind’a a lot today. The “family energy” here has been off kilter a bit, and even the “family energy” in our respective extended families has been off (a bit of infighting, annoyances, etc.). More than usual anyway. It has sometimes been difficult to find that place of appreciation conflict seems like its around every corner.
I find it funny that the notion of “family” is always portrayed as smiles and happiness, like some sort of “posed” moment in time. Maybe you’ve got your 2.3 kids and your white picket fence… but inside those walls? How would you rate that level of happiness? Depends on the day, amiright? Some days it’s a solid 8. Other times it’s a -1,000,000. Most of the time, it’s a steady 4–5 (with kid(s)).
Sometimes it feels like life has thrown us to the weeds and things are almost unbearable. There is no reprieve from the stress, the difficulties, the relentless challenges. It can be difficult to maintain that sense of gratitude and appreciation. That is why there are nine other cards that lead up to the X of Cups. It’s a journey, and there are plenty (PLENTY) of times when it feels like one step forward, 5 steps back (and others, where it feels like the path forward is just missing entirely).
I consider myself highly blessed and favored with my personal family. I’ve been with my (very hot) husband for 15 years, and we have a loving, caring, respectful relationship. We are on each others’ side 100% of the time and work as a team for the things we want. We work together (both from home), and are together, literally, almost 24–7, and it works well for us. (I understand this is wildly unique in the Universe). We’ve fought maybe three or four times in our entire relationship. And did I mention he’s hot?
We adopted our son through foster care (in Texas) when he was 3 years old. He’d been with us since 21 months, but came from… well, let’s just say he had a really rough start. It was a fight and struggle to make it through the foster and adoption process. Homophobia was rampant, and our son’s court-appointed attorney tried (after 7 months of being with us) to have him removed because we were a “non-traditional” family. The judge ripped her to pieces, thankfully, but left her on as his attorney through the adoption (which made regular required visits very awkward). But amazingly, all the stars lined up and we were able to adopt him on National Adoption Day.
Of course, he’s growing up — 9.5 years old now. He struggles with severe ADHD and impulse control but is incredibly intelligent, particularly in math, reading, and science. Socially… it’s a struggle. At home, with those he’s most comfortable around, it can be a challenge. He wants independence so bad he can’t see straight (maybe a good thing since we’re a gay family. Thank you, thank you; I’ll be here all week. Try the beef.) He’s also fucking beautiful (and he knows it).
It’s very easy to lose the sense of gratitude for what I have when we wade in a stream of near-constant negativity. He’s at the age where he complains about anything/everything that inconveniences him, won’t take responsibility for his mistakes, and feels entitled to… well, everything. I understand this won’t last forever, but it worries me that this negative energy (and how it impacts our family as a whole) will impact our relationships and dull the magic we have. I’m afraid the happy memories we make will be lessened by these grudges and attitudes.
I know this is life. We are not alone in having an unruly/wild child. He is literally bottled chaos that we are trying to put restraints on. I know there are families with children that are MUCH more difficult than ours (and I really feel for them). But my desire to correct and improve is so strong; I refuse to become complacent and ignore things rather than find a way forward.
I AM grateful for what I have: my home, my family, my job, the creature comforts and luxuries we have. We have worked HARD to get to where we are; I am proud of where we stand.
I know that, as a father, I have to meet my son where he is. I have to find a way to make meaningful moments with him in HIS world rather than expecting him to step into mine. I need to try to help him find a sense of gratitude and appreciation for our family as well, rather than his nonsensical dream of entitlement he’s living in. I need to drill in this sense of humility. I already know that’s going to be like drilling a hole in marble with a dripping water faucet, but imagine the difference it could make in his life…
I love him. I love my husband. We are a family. Maybe we don’t look like everyone else’s family, but I guarantee you that we love just as hard and just as much as anyone else’s.
So that is the X of Cups for me today. How does the X of Cups show for you? Where do you find gratitude and appreciation in your life? What have you worked hard to achieve and you can finally raise your arms and say, “Fuck yes. This is mine!” Remember, don’t expect every day to be an X of Cups — if it was, then there wouldn’t be a whole lot of value in the X of Cups. Make your work count; make your memories happen. Take control of your life and your situation and build what matters.
Decks shown above:
Originally published at https://www.pixel-tarot.com on April 10, 2023.
