Mar 27 | 2023 — III of Cups
When I pulled this card this morning and started making the associated playlist, I was surprised by how few Cups cards I’ve had since I started, only 5 of the 14. I’m sure there’s some hidden cosmic joke I should be getting by not working on the cards that represent emotion… but it’s lost on me. I’m not just a cold bitch, despite what one of my ex’s said; I CAN be emotional, kthxbai.
Today’s card is the III of Cups, the card of friendship! Come on, everyone; let’s link pinks and form a caring circle. It’s not just friendship though; it’s also a card of celebration, of getting together to kiki, of finding community with like-minded individuals. It’s “going out with friends” — whatever that means for you.
I find it interesting how this card changes in meaning as we age. My 10-year-old son just added a new friend to his pool of “close” friends, and they’ve been spending their days riding their bikes, going to the park, and doing shit that boys do. They gossip (boy gossip), laugh at each other, and tell terrible jokes, but they find solace and connection in each other’s company. Then high school comes around and you start forming cliques and getting into all that adolescent bullshit that is so important, but then suddenly not. Then in your late teens and early twenties, you start venturing out with friends to clubs: drinking, trying to look your best on whatever limited income you have. Suddenly you’re married, maybe with kids, and your circle of friends becomes more triangulated; those who can’t relate to your new experiences disappear. New connections are made with others in similar situations who are in the “same place” in life. Later in life, we don’t have the energy or patience for clubs (or really even bars), and drinking like that just makes us feel like shit; we find good times with friends in each other’s homes, having fabulous dinners and get-togethers, maybe venturing out to a brunch on a Sunday morning and then a farmer’s market. Then suddenly you’re in Shady Pines playing bingo with the girls and gossiping about the old bitch that died down the hall.
Message of the Day: I feel like the III of Cups can often be linked to the VI of Cups, the card of nostalgia and childhood. When I think back on my days in high school, I had so many friends — or circles of friends, I suppose. I had my main friends I spent time with at school (the boys); I had my best friend, Elaine, and her circle of friends which I adopted as my own, which were more “weekend friends” (and the friends I could be gay with), and then I had the church friends, whom I also went to high school with, but were on a different level with since they were also Mormon. The freedom and openness I had with those friends is something that continued on with college, and I made some of the closest friends of my life, many of whom I still talk with today.
But there’s something different and nostalgic about those “childhood” friendships compared to friendships we’ve made as adults. That’s not to lessen those newer friendships by any means. I don’t know if it’s because we weren’t bound by the stresses and responsibilities of adulthood, or if it’s because we were all so open and accepting of each other as we tried to figure out “who we were…,” or maybe because we weren’t bound to a marriage which consumed our time as we made a family. Things were just different.
And now, as older adults, we look around and the number of friends we have is considerably less than when we were 15; but the quality of those friends is probably of a higher level as well. So it becomes a quality over quantity thing. I get that — it’s cool. Makes sense. Honestly, I don’t personally have the energy to maintain a large social network. There is very much a part of me that wants to get together and shoot the shit, but that same part of me also wants to lay on the couch and watch tv or play video games.
For me today, the III of Cups is a reminder card that friendships are like plants and will grow or wilt based on the attention they receive. There are people in this world that I love dearly and would give up a kidney-stone-riddled kidney for if they asked, but we haven’t really spoken in years. We live in different states, and our lives have moved in different directions. There are other friends where shit happened because I was dumb and immature and said stupid shit. It probably could have been repaired, but ego got in the way.
In hindsight, that makes me sad and makes me feel like shit. I could have (SHOULD have) been a better friend; I could have made more of an effort. #Regrets
I tell my son, “Be the friend you want to have.” I also tell him to lead by example and stand up for his friends if he cares about them. That’s advice we should all take.
So how does the III of Cups speak to you? Does it represent a relationship or community you’re a part of? How do you celebrate that relationship? How do you nurture it? In this “party of three” (I didn’t want to say threesome because… ya know.), does someone feel like the third wheel? How can that be better balanced?
The III of Cups is making me feel like there are some people I need to reach out to, check up on, and apologize to if need be. It makes me feel like I need to be more supportive of my social circle and less hermit-like and “all about me.” Some friendships need to stay on my list of priorities lest I get lazy and find it shriveled and crispy on my porch. Meh. Now I feel like a shitty friend… see how Tarot can be both light and dark? It calls you out on your shit.
Decks shown above:
