The challenge of understanding. It's a journey in and of itself. I know where you come from, and Tarot helps me compartmentalize and focus (tho, admittedly, it's not for everyone). It's not necessarily the mystical woo-woo that you see in movies. It can be (and is often) used as a mental wellness tool to help with self-reflection. Some therapists even use in their practices. Keep it up, and keep writing. That alone is therapeutic.